The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize