maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
