Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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