Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize