jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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