I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
