he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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