when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
