he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize