And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
