Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
