he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My pussy is not your playground.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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