I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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