Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
