All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
