So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
