Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
