Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
