I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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