porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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