I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
