Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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