Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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