I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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