i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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