I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
