Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
