I just gift wrapped bread.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
