Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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