I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize