No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
