i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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