At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
