A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
