One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
