I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
