Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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