this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
