nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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