Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
