the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
