i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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