So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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