a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
