I feel like abortions should bother me more
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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