i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
