I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
