take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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