im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
