Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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