Kareoke will never be a sober sport
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
