lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just found puke in my bra..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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