I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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