We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
