Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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