your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
