Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A bitchslap is in order.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
