Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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