dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
