I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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