i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
