Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How's work?
Spinning.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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